Wednesday, December 31, 2008

probably the last post of the year


yesterday i found my bank card in the pocket of a jacket, which was lying secetly under a pile of clothes in my cupboard. i think i had checked all of the pockets except for that one. i didn’t have to bother to go through all those bureaucratic processes and wait for the bank to send me a new one while having to borrow money when i ran out, after all. great.


my cousin is coming here tomorrow. we'll spend the new year's eve and a few days together. i have to tidy up my room, cause it's insanely messy at the moment, but i don't feel like moving, let alone doing something. i don't even want to go to the toilet at the moment.


this crazily cold weather is killing me. it makes me wanna stay in bed under the covers and it makes it hard for me to go out. yesterday when i came home, my hands were frozen and not working properly. i had trouble getting the keys out of my bag cause i couldn't grab them with frozen hands. yes it's THAT cold. and it will get colder.


on a brighter note:


happy new year everyone! have fun on new year's eve and have a great year!


guten rutsch ins neue jahr!


yeni yılınız kutlu olsun!



Saturday, December 27, 2008

bu sefer de türkçe yazalım

dün akşam bi barda biriyle tanıştım. arkadaşlarla dışarı çıkmıştık. hoop dans eğlence filan derken konuşmaya başladık.

aslında bikaç hafta önce başka biriyle tanışmıştım, ama kaçan kovalanırcılık oynamak istiyo galiba kendisi. benim de hiç halim yok öyle şeylere, yaş olmuş nerdeyse 25, ay ne gizemliiii birden bire mesaj yazmamaya başlıyo müthiiiş gibi bi tribe girmiyorum doğal olarak. eeeeeh diyorum. barış elçisi ancelina coli gibi geziyo zaten, uganda'da kafasına kimsesiz çocuk düşsün istiyorum.

neyse bu dün akşam tanıştığım arkadaş pek tatlı olmakla beraber italya'da yaşıyodu ve viyanaya bikaç günlüğüne ailesini ziyarete gelmişti. zaten şu avusturyalıların yerinde duranına rastlamadım. "evet dizimi kırdım viyana'da oturuyorum fasulye ayıklıyorum. burda ikamet ediyorum ve çalışıyorum, askerliğimi/sosyal hizmetimi yaptım, yarın akşam müsait misiniz annem sizi istemeye gelicekmiş" filan yok. "bikbik programıyla arjantine gittim, vikvik aracılığıyla bir süre yeni zelanda'da yaşadım, şimdi zimbabve'de çocuk esirgeme kurumunda çalışıyorum, ordan gemiyle güney amerika'ya geçicem, avusturya'ya bi arkadaşa bakıp çıkmaya geldim." arkadaşım iki dakka efendi olun. seksen günde devr-i alem nereye kadar? tamam güzel dansediyosun ama iki dakka belli bi yerde ikamet et. bence bu yüzden bunların toplumdaki genç oranı az.

ev arkadaşlarımdan biri de o akşam tesadüfen ordaydı. bütün gece gudubet faşo bi karıya yazdı. bi ara türkiye hakkında bişey diyodum, karı atladı "madem türkiye o kadar güzel, oraya geri dön!"sana ne lan y.rraam" demek isterdim ama baktım almanca olarak diyemiyorum bunu, onun yerine "ne alakası var şimdi benim dediğimle senin dediğinin, ben ne diyorum sen ne diyosun" dedim. "haa ben yanlış anlamışım başka bişi dedin sandım" filan dedi. masaya doğru eğilip "ne dediğimi bilmeden ne konuşuyosun o zaman?" dedim. bişi diyemedi. çok sinir oldum. döverim lan ben bunu modundayken italya'dan gelen arkadaş "şş tamam bırak o salağı" filan dedi sakinleştirdi beni. iyi oldu zira nereye dövüyorum, çöp gibi kollarımla... kafasına bişi atmak isterdim ama. küçük ceylan suratlı.

neyse dolayısıyla italya'dan gelen italya'da yaşadığı için çok fena yalan oldu. nedense email adresimi istedi "sana mail atarım" filan dedi ben de "aman boşver nası olsa mail filan atmican kasma" dedim "atarım niye atmiyim ki nasılsın napıyosun bugün kaç faşo öldürdün diye sorarım" dedi. iyi peki dedim ben de. 7/24 kovalıyorum gibi bi tablo oluştu ama gördüğünüz üzre bi bok yok ortada.


Monday, December 22, 2008

-hello reader

-how are you?
+fine thanks and you?
-fine thanks sit down. today we are going to talk about the disappearing people (TDP). TDP tend to disappear in certain times and pop back into your life in other times. statistics that i just made up show that %94.9 of the people who disappear from one's life tend to repeat that action. it's like the instructions on a shampoo bottle: apply, rinse, apply again if necessary - disappear, appear, disappear again if necessary.

some well trusted sources, like my humble opinion, show that these people also expect things to be the way they were before, when they decide to appear. this doesn't happen only between people who have something going on, but also between normal friends, or let's say someone you thought you were friends with. of course things could get more dramatic in the first mentioned case.

in spite of the fact that i've been thinking about this issue for a long time now, i haven't quite figured out how to handle TDP. telling them not to do that doesn't seem to work. getting them out of your life could work, but you usually don't want to do that cause you actually like them or you might have feelings for them. TDP, who you have feelings for, are most likely to pop up out of the blue and mess things up, just when you thought you were doing fine. just when you met someone new. the possibility of that disturbs me at the moment. i know it will happen eventually. we can't be together but i wait for him to visit me somehow cause he said he would. although i know i will be able to see him for a few days if he comes over to visit me and then he will go back to england. because of this whole unfinished business/story pattern, i can't not like him anymore but i also don't want to commit myself to something impossible. i don't want to wait for someone i can't be with. but then again... yeah you know the drill. but enough about me, how have you been?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

culture

so i found someone who studies turkology. i have a new austrian friend now. she is quite calm, friendly, she looks a bit shy but she is so much fun to hang out with. during our first meeting we spoke in german mostly. she didn't want to speak turkish but she listened as i spoke very slowly and clearly and understood most of the things i said. we sat in a cafe for hours and talked about cultural differences, the turks in austria, istanbul, her time in turkey and a lot of other stuff.

during our second meeting i encouraged her a bit more to speak turkish and told her it's ok to make mistakes, like a teacher. then i reminded her of the many mistakes i make while speaking german. i can understand her concerns, i had the same during my first days here. i used to try to speak as correct as possible, i was always thinking during sentences and panicing thinking i bore people cause i'm speaking so slowly. now i just speak and make mistakes. so after the pep talk, she started speaking turkish and she is pretty good at it, although she doesn't think so. she was so cute while speaking turkish that i wanted to squeeze her cheeks, but of course i didn't (i think it's only acceptable in my culture to squeeze the cheeks of someone who is older than 5).

it was a very interesting and cool experience for me cause i don't know any other people who are learning turkish. i have an austrian friend who lives in turkey but her turkish is great, i don't pretty much teach her anything and she doesn't need to practice with me since there are a lot of turkish speakers around her. so i really enjoyed teaching my new friend new words and answering her questions about why she can't use that word there and stuff. i also really enjoyed talking about turkey with a "foreigner", who actually knows a lot about it for a change. i'm not saying everybody's supposed to know a lot about turkey, but it gets pretty boring when others ask weird things about my country ("you can't study there right, that's why you came here to study... right? hey wait!") or judge something in the past without actually knowing something about it. she knows about the culture, the music, the history, politics, the comedians even. these were very interesting to discuss with an austrian. we are going to go to a turkish comics exhibition sometime this week.

i really like observing cultural differences. i also wonder why there are so many of them. why are the people more touchy kissy in the east? why are they more distant in the west? i found it very funny whenever steph (english friend) had a culture shock with me. like when she made cute faces, i couldn't help but squeeze her cheeks and then she would remind me that she's not 4. once she was lying on the bed as i was about to make some tea. i asked if she wanted some too, while rubbing her tummy and she answered by letting me know that she's not a dog :)

the biggest cultural shock i had here was probably when my ex asked me to pay for his coffee reminding me that he lent me 2 euros earlier. he said something like "could you pay for my coffee so that we can be even?" now i'm not expecting to fight over the bill with the boyfriend, trying to pay for my drink, like i would have to do in turkey, but it was quite shocking to find out that he was keeping tracks on whatever small coins he gave me for something and expecting me to pay back so that "we can be even". being even is pretty important in austria. so yeah even though i found it shocking, i did as he said.

i wonder if i can be with an austrian guy again, in spite of all the cultural differences.

Monday, December 8, 2008

the truth behind mothers' lies!!




i had no idea that one day i would become such a big fan of australian tv shows.

Friday, December 5, 2008

working hours, losing things and thank god you're here

ok so i love living in vienna, but i don't like the fact that austrians don't work much. i got used to supermarkets closing at 6 pm and being closed on sundays, banks closing at 3 pm, a lot of work places having very different working hours during the week which includes most of them not opening till the afternoon on thursdays BUT today i found out that the police stations close at 12 pm on fridays and at 2 pm on mondays, tuesdays wednesdays and that they don't open till the afternoon on thursdays. how cool is that? i can't find my bankomat card and i wanted to cancel it, therefore i needed to go to the police station which covered my neighborhood and fill out a document but alas they were closed at 12 pm. i've searched my room, my pockets, my bags... i can't find the fucking card. i last saw it on monday while doing grocery shopping. i haven't seen it since and i realised it was missing yesterday. police stations are closed at the weekend and this monday as well cause it's a national holiday so apparently i'm gonna have to deal with this on tuesday. brilliant.

i'm trying to calm down by watching "thank god you're here" videos on youtube. it's an amazing australian show i discovered yesterday. there are also british and american versions. there is a description on the official website, which goes:

"Thank God You're Here is based on a simple premise: get a group of well known performers and make each walk through a door into a scene without any idea of who they are or what they're walking into. It might be an operating theatre and a simple greeting, "Thank God you're here, Doctor. The patient's ready." It may be a Roman dungeon, a boardroom, a starship or a talk show. The only things they can depend on are their abilities to make everything up for the next five minutes and cover their tracks as they do it.
There's no getting voted out and it showcases a performer's versatility as well as their abilities to lie, deceive and... well... basically bull@#*! "

so yeah WATCH IT!

while watching 298233729 videos of the show, i discovered an australian comedian called hamish blake. he is great. here is a video from a different show in which he is starring with his co-median andy



here's a bonus video about the truth behind the chain mails




looks like i'm having a quiet one tonight so i'll just continue watching entertaining videos.

Monday, December 1, 2008

viennese nightlife

i went out with my friend başak at the weekend. we hit the nightlife. well actually we weren't planning on going out. i was at her place and we were just sipping some wine in our comfortable not-going-outy clothes. i mixed the wine with red bull cause i can't drink red wine and that's all we had. i know it sounds yucky to a lot of people but it actually worked for me. anyways then we started to listen to some party music and all of a sudden we got into this full on party mood. she lent me a cool top and shorts, we dolled up while singing along with the party music and we were good to go.

the place was pretty crowded. we got two white russians and sipped them, leaning our backs on the bar, as we were checking the place out. i met a guy who said he didn't like kissing cause it's "too relationshipy and too commitment-like". oh my god what's with the relationship phobia of the austrian guys?! i asked him how old he was. he said 23 and asked me how old i was. i said "take a guess". he looked at me, squinted and said "something between... 20 and 30". funny thing is, he wasn't joking.

later on, my friend başak started to dance with an american guy (more like he started to dance with her), who kept on asking ME questions about HER, like if i thought she would like him, if i thought he would have a chance with her and stuff. in the end başak said "see you in another life" and sacked him.

there was this elderly austrian man who was telling us things and laughing, thinking he was having a conversation with us. he kept doing it for a long time, commenting about things and laughing, but we weren't in position to understand a single word he was saying since it was very loud, he had a thick austrian accent and we were drunk. i told him a couple of times that i had no idea what he was saying but that didn't seem to bother him. he was harmless anyway.

we also met a bunch of turkish guys but we weren't impressed, since there are zillions of them where we come from. i think one of them tried to get başak's number and she didn't want to give it or something. he turned to me and said that she was so stubborn. i don't remember what i said but i somehow parried him and başak and i moved along.

at some point some austrian hillbillies started to fight because of a girl. they suddenly started pushing and hitting each other. fortunately security was just in time to break it up and maintain drunken peace again.

and yeah other typical stuff happened, like some pretty drunk guys trying to hit on us, us blowing them off, them just hitting on somebody else. the music was pretty good and we danced a lot. all in all it was a fun night.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

new people

i'm at göksu's dorm again. we ate at mcdonalds again (they have to give us a gold membership or a trophy or something for being such regulars) then she left to run an errand and i went back to her room, where i practically live. theoretically i live in a shared flat with 3 people. our italian flatmate is now looking for another flat because we don't clean the apartment often enough. well that's what she said. we hadn't been cleaning in a while, that's right, but it wasn't always like that. it's just that nobody bothered to print out a new cleaning schedule since the old one is all filled out. now we have to interview a lot of people and discuss them, just like we did some months ago. it's kinda like a popstar contest but less entertaining. ok, not entertaining at all. maybe it could be a little fun if we had a simon cowell.

i found out that there are austrians, who would like to learn or practice turkish and help with the german in return . i decided to look for one on the internet. i think it would be fun to teach my mother tounge and improve my german. maybe i can even make a new local friend. i only have two austrian friends apart from my flatmates. one of them moved to turkey when i moved to austria and the other one is in cuba all the time cause her boyfriend is there, so i need to find more.

now i'm gonna study and i hope i can make it to the library tomorrow.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Friday, November 21, 2008

lazy

right now i'm enjoying being all warm and comfortable while it's freezing cold, rainy and windy outside. yesterday it was so windy that at some point i thought i was gonna fly away to some dark corner of the universe... or austria, for that matter. i feel like lazing around today. i would love to just cuddle all afternoon long, like i did last year. i was feeling all happy and safe and warm inside.

"music is my blanket"

yesterday a serbian guy, who was a friend of aleksandra, wanted to learn how to say "attention! börek is my first love" in turkish. i think that was the weirdest sentence in turkish that i ever taught someone. later on, as i was pushing a heavy door to go out of the library, i made some weird and funny sounds that implied that the door was heavy and i was a weird person, thinking he was right behind me, but when i turned around i came face to face with a total stranger, who to my surprise smiled at me.

i found a white hair on my head the other day. it made me sad. however, people get surprised when i say i'm 24 and say i look 20 or 21 tops. i love that.

foreeeever youuuung i want to beee foreeeeever youuuung

Monday, November 17, 2008

the general idea of life

"buy this car to drive to work
drive to work to pay for this car"

Thursday, November 13, 2008

i'm bloggin it

i miss singing and writing songs. i wrote some stuff yesterday but it's not good enough and karaoke doesn't satisfy my singing needs anymore. i don't know why i'm too chicken to seek out a band here.

i was at the library yesterday. all day. seriously. yesterday was a milestone in my life. i was there from 10:30 to 21:30. of course the fact that i was with aleksandra and her friends lead to me staying there that long. if it wasn't for the fun little breaks we had, i would have run away after 3 hours. i had to study some physiological and biological stuff under the subject of "perception" and i'm not gonna lie, i felt like tearing up axons and plucking dendrids after a while. i did a lot of work though, so it's all good. bad thing about studying that long is when you get back home, you don't wanna go to bed cause then it'll be like you studied all day and went to sleep.all work no play. so i stayed up late talking to my best friends online and i had a tiny bit of difficulty waking up early today. so yeah basically i couldn't get up to go to the library today. this library we are going to is kinda small compared to the others and it gets completely full if you go there after 10 in the morning. then at around 17:00, some people start going away so until then you can't pretty much find a vacancy. yesterday, i saw a girl who was studying on the stairs cause even the newspaper reading section was full. it's insane.

aleksandra has a crush on a guy who comes to the library pretty often. at some point she was staring at him and running away giggling like a 13 year old, which was pretty funny :) but i mean can you imagine meeting someone at the library?

x: so how did you guys meet?
y: oh we met at the library. you tell them cupcake!
z: alright so i asked him if he could reserve a place for me and he said "oh i could also reserve a place for you HERE" and showed his heart!
x: aaaaawww!!!
z: i know, right?
y: (proud grin)


i stil don't know when i'll go to turkey for a visit. i have to decide that and then buy the tickets. i can't decide when it would be better for me to go since i have an important test in march and i won't be studying while i'm in turkey. maybe in january? i don't know. i don't like making far out plans. i also don't like groccery shopping, but that's another story.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

blogella

place: göksu's dorm
day: tuesday
time: 12:16
things i have eaten so far: none
plans to go to the library: blown
new song to be obsessed about: kate nash - nicest thing
number of people i can see from the window: none
level of frustration due to the fact that i missed the nada surf concert: unmeasurable
weather: shitty
artists i wanna see live at the moment: nada surf!!, bat for lashes, lily allen
my regret about last night: spilling toothbrush on my tshirt while brushing teeth (damn it)
status: waiting for göksu to come back from class with food



just like that poe song: "not even god takes this long to get back! so get back." people are weird. they say things and then disappear. i neither have the energy nor the will to chase. i could actually use something normal for a change. when it comes to other people who say "things" to someone, big things even, then run away with someone else and break the hell out of someone's heart: i don't even know what to say to you. even though i'm not involved in this, i am pretty mad. that someone is a person i love dearly.



it's pretty boring to study all these beginner stuff i learnt like 6 years ago and forgot once again, this time in german. my destiny is depending on that test now.


in other news; i don't have much going on in my life. stay tuned.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

halloween

i just came home. i was at a party earlier with göksu and her boyfriend, which was held by a couple. i thought it was a halloween party but then it turned out to be a "wow this couple is getting married in two weeks" party. the girl is 22 and the guy is 24. come to think about it, it feels weird. people getting married. people younger than me getting married. don't get me wrong i'm not considering getting married before, like, i don't know 5 years or something, but it somehow felt weird. i guess some people just find that special thing earlier. and i'm not even a relationship. anyways. we played singstar. it was fun but it would have been more fun if i could hear my own voice. still, it was a nice party. then we got outta there planning on going to other parties but we somehow found ourselves in göksu's boyfriend's flat. we ate pizza while watching an episode of "king of queens", during which göksu passed out. it was quite late so i went out to find a taxi home but i had to wait for quite a while. at some point, i thought i would have to wait there till 5 in the morning without finding a taxi to take the metro home but fortunately i did find a taxi. the driver was a very talkative egyptian guy and i didn't understand most of the things he said but i just nodded along cause i just couldn't bother. at some point he asked if i was at a halloween party and how old i was and i said i was at a party that was thrown for this couple who were about to get married and the girl was younger than me. as i was getting out of the car, he said something like "don't worry you'll get married soon". that being said, i relaxed big time :P i don't wanna get married soon though, i just want a relationship with someone who is there. i wanna have something meaningful, but wanting something doesn't mean you're gonna have it now does it? i talked to the "english guy" today. i told him i dreamt of him last night and he said he dreamt of me. he keeps saying he's gonna come over to visit me but i don't know i mean i do wanna see him but even if he does come over, which he never does, he will go back to fucking england so it won't change anything at the end of the day. pardon my weird emotional mood, it's almost 5 and i've been drinking. bye.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

stuff and stuff

i'm ill and bored. i stayed in all day, lying on the bed. i think i got it from the little monster i was babysitting on friday night. she is a 4 year old turkish girl and she is very cute until it's bed time. i had to sing her a lot of songs so that she would stop crying so i practically gave a concert to a 4 year old who would - instead of shouting song names - cry and say "but i want my mommy" between the songs. one of the many weird conversations i had with her goes:

4-year-old-girl: but i want my mommiiieeeeaaaaa
me: wow such beautiful hair you have! it's so nice and soft!
4-y-o-g: nooooo
me: you don't have beautiful hair?
4-y-o-g: nooooooo
me: who has beautiful hair, then?
4-y-o-g: somebody eeeeeeeelse!!

and here's another one:

me: would you like some water?
4-y-o-g: noooooooooooooo (while grabbing the glass of water from my hands and downing it)


so yeah in the end she kept me up till 5 in the morning and fell asleep only then cause her parents had come back. if i remember correctly, the mother had told me something about this being a very easy job, her going to bed at 7:30 and me being able to hang around to do whatever i want. no way i'm doing that much work for that little money again!


in other news, it turns out that i have to pass this test, which is said to be awfully difficult, so that i can continue my studies here. if i pass it, then they will count the lectures which i have already done back in istanbul. there's always something else going on and i'm pretty tired of waiting to be able to study here, but looks like i don't have another choice. the test is in march. yikes.


i listened to the debut solo album of sandra nasic and i have to say i'm not very fond of it. guano apes is one of my fav bands and i love sandra but this album just doesn't do. except for the 2 songs with music videos; "fever" and "the name of my baby", there aren't any good songs.


i think jason mraz is so cute... although he wears pink flip flops in one of his videos.


i want to be with a guy who plays a musical instrument and who can talk, as in conversation.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

9 crimes

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse
Is that alright, yeah?

Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright, yeah?
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright, yeah?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright, yeah?
With you...

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

pfffff

i want to go and have a neurotic breakdown at the faculty of psychology because they still haven't finished checking the validity of my previous lectures and i still can't choose new lectures because of this tiny problem. *sigh*

Sunday, September 28, 2008

empty spaces

..."another failed romance". akşamları bi dilim ucuz pizzayla eve gelmek ve tek başına onu akşam yemeği niyetine yemek. bitürlü yeterince iyi almanca konuşamamak. yalnızlık. sıkıntısı çekilen ortak ilgi alanları. uyku. soğuk. küçük bi çocukla saatlerce oyun hamuru oynayıp geçmişi hatırlamak. oyun hamuru kokusu. ev. çay. deja vu. müzik. sıkıntı. jamais vu.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

under the milkyway tonight

i wish i knew what you were looking for/ i might have known what you would find

demiş the church "under the milkyway tonight" adı şarkısında ve de ne güzel demiş değil mi? evet. winamp'im bunun üstüne bi de "neither heaven nor space" çakmayı uygun gördü. peki...

i don't like mixed signals or when there are some signals and then there aren't. what is a signal anyway? i'm back in vienna now, trying to dust off my german and improve it while i'm at it. a friend of mine from istanbul university, gizem, is in vienna with her sister, who is an erasmus student here. i met her the other day and we talked about psychology and the field and what we're gonna do and the patients we had seen and bored the hell out of göksu and gizem's sister :) but i have to say that i missed talking about this stuff. we are going to bratislava altogether tomorrow morning. it's time i saw the city, it's like 1 hour away from vienna by bus and it's pretty cheap to get there.

that's it folks. that's all i can pull through my confused mind. goodnight.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

you're so gay and you don't even like boys

bu aralar "too much information lyrics" akımının (ben bu ismi uygun gördüm) son temsilcilerinden katy perry'e takmış durumdayım. you're so gay ve i kissed a girl çok dilime dolanıyo. baya eğlenceli. günde 500 kere dinlemezsem rahat edemediğim şarkı ise bu aralar bat for lashes - what's a girl to do. klibi de çok sayko ve bi donnie darko havası barındırmakta, tavsiye ederim. beni bu şarkıdan ve klipten haberdar ettiği için sevgili duyguya da teşekkürü borç bilirim.

geç de olsa nihayet ps: i love you'yu izledim. klasik bi romantik komedi beklerken çok daha farklı bişey çıktı karşıma. beklediğim klişelerin olmaması da ayrı bi sevindiriciydi. çok güzel bi filmdi. zaten yer yer irlanda görüntüleri şarkıları vs ile bile tek başına kalbimi çalabilecekken bu kadar güzel bi kurgu, oyunculuk ve gerard butler'ın tatlılığı da olunca tadından yenmedi. izlemediyseniz eğer, konusunu filan hiç okumayın, trailer'ını izlemeyin ve direkt filmi izleyin derim.

viyana'ya dönmeme resmen 8 gün kaldı, çok sıkışık durumdayım. birsürü görmem gereken insan, halletmem gereken iş var. 2 aydır buraya yeniden adapte olup tekrar gitmek var. istanbuldan ve dırdırdan yorulmak, gene de burayı sevmek ama viyanayı da özlemek, viyanadayken de burdakileri özlemek gibi durumlar da söz konusuyken bu duygu karmaşasından nasıl bir psikolojik durum meydana getireceğim merak konusu, ama düzgün bişey olsun diye elimden geleni yapıyorum.

abim sakızlı türk kahvesi almış. türk kahvesi sevmeyen kuzenim bile sevdi. dünyanın en güzel şeyi, mutlaka alın. ben de alıp viyanaya sokmayı planlıyorum.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

umbrella ella ella

probably the best cover ever with the gayest video ever


Saturday, July 5, 2008

whitest kids u know



hastasıyım. trevor'la evlenmek istiyorum.

Friday, July 4, 2008

freak

now, i've met a shit load of weirdos and freaks since i'm aka the freak magnet, but this guy is ACE.

edit: they removed it. pfff :(

let's pretend happy end

ok first of all, something for the turks




yandı mı beyinler? moruk paraları sökül HA mı desem, manitanın arkasından çekil HA mı desem, o klipte hitler'in varlığına mı kafayı yesem karar veremedim. bi de küçük kızı tokatlayasım var.ayrıca 1:08'de en solda ipek'in eski sevgilisi büdü oynuyo.





so i'm not going to london after all. the visa process was a bitch. i didn't know having a visa as a turkish student in austria would be harder than having a visa from turkey. yeah you never stop learning. i have some uni beurocracy to deal with here, then i'm buying tickets for turkey and i'll be there as soon as possible. i'm coming back to vienna in september and my studies start in october. psychology in german is scary.

my erasmus friends recently went back. sad sad times. this city feels so empty now:( steph said she would be back in a year to move to vienna and she better not change her mind!! this is a threat. (insert dramatic chipmunk here)

my dad insists on going to the summerhouse altogether when i go to turkey and i'm trying to find a way out of this at the moment.the population there consists of 6 year olds and 60 year olds, so people and their grandchildren. every now and then dad says something about seeing people my age there, which makes me think he either imagines them or he still thinks i'm 6.

end of post.

Monday, June 9, 2008

if you spot terrorism, blow your anti terrorism whistle. if you are vin diesel, yell really loud.

i'm trying to get a tourist visa for UK. i want to go to london for one week and it's a lot of work. here's a part of the online application form:


In times of either peace or war have you‚ ever been involved in‚ or suspected of involvement in‚ war crimes‚ crimes against humanity or genocide? Required Field
Yes No





Have you ever been involved in‚ supported‚ or encouraged terrorist activities in any country? Have you‚ ever been a member of‚ or given support to an organisation that has been concerned in terrorism? Required Field
Yes No




Have you ever‚ by any means or medium‚ expressed views that justify or glorify terrorist violence or that may encourage others to terrorist acts or other serious criminal acts? Required Field
Yes No




Have you engaged in any other activities that might indicate that you may not be considered a good person? Required Field
Yes No




this is insane!!! feels like they are questioning hitler or something. especially the last question just blows my mind. who is to say that i may or may not be considered a good person? what the hell does that mean anyway? and who says "yes" to that? i hate it that turkey is so discriminated against and they treat us like terrorists. oh and they will also get my fingerprints. yay!

this whole thing reminds me of this. you've probably seen it.

whenever i go grossary shopping, i think about the 4 floors i have to go up. we don't have an elevator. it sucks to carry all those bags. then again it's exercise. but i don't like exercise.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

the don'ts of interaction with girls - a guide for men

ever since i came here i've been observing a lot of wrong approaches when it comes to guys interacting with girls they are interested in. so i decided to prepare this little guide for future referance. it's all based on real personal experience.


- don't ask a girl "is it the number of guys you've slept with?" after asking her how many bracelets there are on her arm and getting the answer "34". to be on the safe side, i would recommend not asking that question, regardless of the number of bracelets.

- don't tell a girl she is old after finding out she is two years older than you and if you do, don't be surprized when she doesn't want to talk to you anymore.

- don't kiss your forearm while talking to a girl you like. don't kiss your forearm again, while talking to a girl you like. unlike the common assumption, it is very repulsive.

- while hitting on a girl, don't call her a "bad bitch" and expect her to like that. if a girl doesn't want to share her drink with you, that doesn't necessarily mean she is a "bad bitch". don't be surprized when she doesn't like her new nickname and says she will slap you if you don't go away. in that situation, thank your lucky stars she threatened you instead of putting it into action.

- when on a date, don't eat a sandwich with garlic and onions and try to kiss a girl while you're still chewing.

- "hi, my friends just dared me to go to a girl and get her bra. can i have your bra?" is not a good pick up line.














no wonder freud is from austria.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Thursday, May 22, 2008

meh

because i'm still ill and at home, i have a very intimate relationship with youtube. i've been watching a lot of stand up shows. i think demetri martin is a genius. he uses this term "conditional identity" in one of his jokes and i think it should be in the social psychology literature. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hSe24Lmgbs follow the link. i know you want to.

i've also come across some pro ana shit as i was surfing on the internet. i know it's an illness, just like OCD or schizophrenia, but for some reason anorexics make me angry. they make me wanna shake them and say "get a life" until they puke. i'm gonna make a hell of a psychologist. puke therapy.

i'm gonna go out tomorrow night. aleksandra, a friend from the german course has this birthday thing. i'm still not all well, still got the bad throat and pre sleep coughs but i'm so sick of staying in and the social deprivation. i just won't drink and it'll be alright. won't be fun as much but still better.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

dane cook stand up comedy



yarıldım

bööööööööö

öksürmekten uyuyamıyorum ve hasta olmaktan nefret ediyorum. sanırım yakında yangın var diye bağırıcam. yarın sabah gitmek zorunda olduğum psikoloji fakültesinde bağırabilirim mesela bu şekilde. histerik nevra serezli bağırışıyla göz doldurabilirim.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

faux de fa fa

ok so i got this one from fwengebola's blog




bunu da kendim buldum bu da fena diil:





ok so i'm in an international mood today and i'll write in english. actually i already have, as some of you might have noticed. well done. as it's saturday i'm in a full "yaaay party" mood but the fact that i've been having a hard time getting out of the bed for two days now keeps me from going out tonight. i think i caught a cold or something. i just dont have any energy. i've been sleeping all day long, i was practically dead. austria what you doin to me??

maybe i just got too tired with all the partying and the fact that i had a date with a TOTAL FREAK a few days ago didn't help either. i wonder if there are any, like ANY normal men in this country.

i discovered maximo park, thanks to steph, my english friend. i can't survive if i don't listen to "apply some pressure" a few times every day. i was quite disappointed they didn't play that at the "london calling" night. that's a thing they have at this club, they play songs from english bands or have live performances by english bands instead of playing boring techno, which they tend to play a lot here.

talking about music, gizem showed me this very talented and cute guy, who is a competitor at american idol at the moment. his name is david cook and he is awesome. check him out on youtube.

i hate the fact that i discovered flight of the conchords so late. this one right below is one of my fav:



hakkaten tam rüyanın dediği gibi yabancıların cenk erdemi.

talking about the facts i hate, i hate the fact that i had to stay in today and that i have to stay in tonight and miss all the fun. ufffff

Sunday, April 27, 2008

gay therapy on jimmy kimmel




buyrun ben yaptım oldu terapisine

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The World Was a Mess But His Hair Was Perfect

göze sokulan anılar. kore işi karate filmi izleyip unutmaya çalışmak. ahaaaa unagi. herşeyin a.k. diye sinirlenmek. vodka. bissürü vodka. rüya tarzı blog yazmak :) meraba rüya. dışarda fırtına çıkması ve evin her an yıkılıcak gibi olması. ben evde yokken eşyalarını almaya gelen birinin önemli anısı olan bişeyi gözüme sokmak isteyerek getirip masanın üstüne bırakması. sinirlenmek. gecenin bi vaktinde hala uyuyamamak ve konusucak kimsenin olmaması. şarkıda dediği gibi. "yiyemiyorum, uyuyamıyorum. uyuyamıyorum, rüya göremiyorum. zehir içmek gibi, cam yemek gibi." orjinalini yazmak istemiyorum. "ben seni hiç üzmek istemiyorum"muş. sen benle dalga mı geçiyosun?

Thursday, April 10, 2008

so quiet

bütün akşam anlamaya çalıştım... ne olduğunu nasıl olduğunu... nasıl bittiğini... uyuşmuş gibiydim resmen bişey hissedemiyodum. aklımda sadece o cafe'den kaçtığım vardı. resmen kaçtım ordan. bu konuşmadan sonra kaçtım. laflar boğazımda düğümleniyodu ve kaçmaktan başka yapıcak bişey yoktu. önünde bi kez daha ağlamak istemiyodum. o yüzden kaçtım. eve geldim. içtim içtim sarhoş olmadım. gene içtim gene sarhoş olmadım. kafamı dağıtmaya çalıştım, başka şeylerle meşgul olmaya çalıştım. en sonunda neither heaven nor space açtım. şarkı çalarken ben de söyledim. söyledikçe ağladım.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

stop dragging my heart around

Baby you'll come knocking on my front door
Same old line you used to use before
I said ya...well...what am I supposed to do
I didn't know what I was getting into
So you've had a little trouble in town
Now you're keeping some demon down
Stop draggin' my...Stop draggin' my...Stop draggin' my heart around

It's hard to think about what you've wanted
It's hard to think about what you've lost
This doesn't have to be the big get even
This doesn't have to be anything at all

I know you really want to tell me good-bye
I know you really want to be your own guy
Baby you could never look me in the eye
Yeah you buckle with the weight of the words
Stop draggin' my...Stop draggin' my...Stop draggin' my heart around

There's people running 'round loose in the world
Ain't got nothing better to do
Than make a meal of somebright eyed kid
You need someone looking after you
I know you really want to tell me good-bye
I know you really want to be your own guy
Baby you could never look me in the eye
Yeah you buckle with the weight of the words
Stop draggin' my...Stop draggin' my...Stop draggin' my heart around

Saturday, March 29, 2008

şalter attı kız barmene bakınca

tuzlu fıstık çok seviyorum. yemelere doyamıyorum.

abimin arkadaşı sarah apladan kitaplık aldım bi tane. bi kurabilsem kendisini yerde orda burda sürünen kitaplar dergiler dosyalar huzura kavuşucak. hatta alt rafına da tişörtlerimi filan koymak istiyorum. fekat sorun şu ki bi kere kurmayı denedim nerde hata yaptım bilmiyorum ama yamuk yumuk bişi oldu söküp tekrar kurmam lazım. şu anda alt kısmı dar olup yukarıya doğru genişleyen bi figür kendisi. adeta kollarını açmış yalvarıyo rabbine beni bu beceriksizin elinden al amin diye.

bugünlerde almanca çalışmak ve arada birileriyle buluşmak dışında bişi yapmadığım için hayatımdan ilginç detaylar veremiyorum sevgili blog okuyucusu. bugün bereichtigung diye bi kelime öğrendim sadece. ben istemez miyim ah fransada küçük bir kasabaya gittim yok yürüyerek dereden geçtim filan yaziyim gezi yazısı tadına koşiyim. allah bana ben sana. hadi bakiym.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Saturday, January 26, 2008

my mp3 player is my security blanket

" So quiet
It's neither heaven nor space, it's just high
And the ring around the moon
looks like light and love
Neither of which I get enough of
Down there
Where alot of people lie in a deep sleep
And months on end go by, in a single week
Down there
But much too slow
Can't you see I'm trying so hard to plug up this hole
The air is running out we're sinking much too low
And if you sit long enough
you can hear ghost trains
As if the city speed is just in our brains"

Monday, January 7, 2008

konichiwa bitches

ne dicektim ya unuttum. dur bakiym..... heh. freud müzesine gittim. hep adını duyduğum ve bi kısmını okuduğum kitapların orjinallerini gördüm, hep adını duyup nedense google'dan bakmadığım çeşitli psikanalistlerin resmini gördüm. carl jung'un karizma yoksunluğu beni benden aldı başka diyarlara götürdü. o dönem bi tek freud karizmatikmiş diğerlerinin karizmatik olması yasakmış sanırım. sevgili freud'un bastonunu, şapkasını, antika koleksiyonunu, muayenehanesini gördüm. burda freud tarafından analiz edilmek nasıl bişeydir diye hayal ettim.bi videoda görüntüler eşliğinde anna freud'un ağzından sigmund freud'u dinledim. sonrasında duygu'nun yaptığı "anna freud'da tam bi böyle 'az önce ineğimi sağdım, şimdi geldim tezimi yazıcam' tipi yok mu?" tespitine hayran kaldım. ordan freud'u anlatan bi karikatür kitabı aldım hemen okudum çok güzeldi. tabi hemen okumamda kitabın almanca değil de ingilizce olmasının etkisi hande'nin memeleri kadardı.

yılbaşım gayet güzel geçti. anchi'lerin çiftlikten hallice evine gittik topluca.viyana yakınlarında küçük bi kasabada oturuyo kendisi. önce kağıttan fenerler yapıp elimizde fenerlerle kasaba sokaklarında dolaştık evayla anchi'nin annesini de alıp. ellerinde şampanya kadehleriyle gezen ve zaman zaman havaii fişek atan kasaba sakinlerine selam verdik, kadeh tokuşturduk. zaten küçük biyer sokakta da 3 tane insan var onlarla da bi zahmet selamlaşıyosun. hayatını şehirde geçirmiş ve geçiren bi insan olarak kasaba tribini çok sevimli buluyorum.

gizem bu ay yanıma geliyooo!!! heycanla bekliyorum kendisini. sen de gel ey okuyucu.