Monday, June 9, 2008

if you spot terrorism, blow your anti terrorism whistle. if you are vin diesel, yell really loud.

i'm trying to get a tourist visa for UK. i want to go to london for one week and it's a lot of work. here's a part of the online application form:

In times of either peace or war have you‚ ever been involved in‚ or suspected of involvement in‚ war crimes‚ crimes against humanity or genocide? Required Field
Yes No

Have you ever been involved in‚ supported‚ or encouraged terrorist activities in any country? Have you‚ ever been a member of‚ or given support to an organisation that has been concerned in terrorism? Required Field
Yes No

Have you ever‚ by any means or medium‚ expressed views that justify or glorify terrorist violence or that may encourage others to terrorist acts or other serious criminal acts? Required Field
Yes No

Have you engaged in any other activities that might indicate that you may not be considered a good person? Required Field
Yes No

this is insane!!! feels like they are questioning hitler or something. especially the last question just blows my mind. who is to say that i may or may not be considered a good person? what the hell does that mean anyway? and who says "yes" to that? i hate it that turkey is so discriminated against and they treat us like terrorists. oh and they will also get my fingerprints. yay!

this whole thing reminds me of this. you've probably seen it.

whenever i go grossary shopping, i think about the 4 floors i have to go up. we don't have an elevator. it sucks to carry all those bags. then again it's exercise. but i don't like exercise.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

the don'ts of interaction with girls - a guide for men

ever since i came here i've been observing a lot of wrong approaches when it comes to guys interacting with girls they are interested in. so i decided to prepare this little guide for future referance. it's all based on real personal experience.

- don't ask a girl "is it the number of guys you've slept with?" after asking her how many bracelets there are on her arm and getting the answer "34". to be on the safe side, i would recommend not asking that question, regardless of the number of bracelets.

- don't tell a girl she is old after finding out she is two years older than you and if you do, don't be surprized when she doesn't want to talk to you anymore.

- don't kiss your forearm while talking to a girl you like. don't kiss your forearm again, while talking to a girl you like. unlike the common assumption, it is very repulsive.

- while hitting on a girl, don't call her a "bad bitch" and expect her to like that. if a girl doesn't want to share her drink with you, that doesn't necessarily mean she is a "bad bitch". don't be surprized when she doesn't like her new nickname and says she will slap you if you don't go away. in that situation, thank your lucky stars she threatened you instead of putting it into action.

- when on a date, don't eat a sandwich with garlic and onions and try to kiss a girl while you're still chewing.

- "hi, my friends just dared me to go to a girl and get her bra. can i have your bra?" is not a good pick up line.

no wonder freud is from austria.