Thursday, November 27, 2008

new people

i'm at göksu's dorm again. we ate at mcdonalds again (they have to give us a gold membership or a trophy or something for being such regulars) then she left to run an errand and i went back to her room, where i practically live. theoretically i live in a shared flat with 3 people. our italian flatmate is now looking for another flat because we don't clean the apartment often enough. well that's what she said. we hadn't been cleaning in a while, that's right, but it wasn't always like that. it's just that nobody bothered to print out a new cleaning schedule since the old one is all filled out. now we have to interview a lot of people and discuss them, just like we did some months ago. it's kinda like a popstar contest but less entertaining. ok, not entertaining at all. maybe it could be a little fun if we had a simon cowell.

i found out that there are austrians, who would like to learn or practice turkish and help with the german in return . i decided to look for one on the internet. i think it would be fun to teach my mother tounge and improve my german. maybe i can even make a new local friend. i only have two austrian friends apart from my flatmates. one of them moved to turkey when i moved to austria and the other one is in cuba all the time cause her boyfriend is there, so i need to find more.

now i'm gonna study and i hope i can make it to the library tomorrow.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Friday, November 21, 2008


right now i'm enjoying being all warm and comfortable while it's freezing cold, rainy and windy outside. yesterday it was so windy that at some point i thought i was gonna fly away to some dark corner of the universe... or austria, for that matter. i feel like lazing around today. i would love to just cuddle all afternoon long, like i did last year. i was feeling all happy and safe and warm inside.

"music is my blanket"

yesterday a serbian guy, who was a friend of aleksandra, wanted to learn how to say "attention! börek is my first love" in turkish. i think that was the weirdest sentence in turkish that i ever taught someone. later on, as i was pushing a heavy door to go out of the library, i made some weird and funny sounds that implied that the door was heavy and i was a weird person, thinking he was right behind me, but when i turned around i came face to face with a total stranger, who to my surprise smiled at me.

i found a white hair on my head the other day. it made me sad. however, people get surprised when i say i'm 24 and say i look 20 or 21 tops. i love that.

foreeeever youuuung i want to beee foreeeeever youuuung

Monday, November 17, 2008

the general idea of life

"buy this car to drive to work
drive to work to pay for this car"

Thursday, November 13, 2008

i'm bloggin it

i miss singing and writing songs. i wrote some stuff yesterday but it's not good enough and karaoke doesn't satisfy my singing needs anymore. i don't know why i'm too chicken to seek out a band here.

i was at the library yesterday. all day. seriously. yesterday was a milestone in my life. i was there from 10:30 to 21:30. of course the fact that i was with aleksandra and her friends lead to me staying there that long. if it wasn't for the fun little breaks we had, i would have run away after 3 hours. i had to study some physiological and biological stuff under the subject of "perception" and i'm not gonna lie, i felt like tearing up axons and plucking dendrids after a while. i did a lot of work though, so it's all good. bad thing about studying that long is when you get back home, you don't wanna go to bed cause then it'll be like you studied all day and went to sleep.all work no play. so i stayed up late talking to my best friends online and i had a tiny bit of difficulty waking up early today. so yeah basically i couldn't get up to go to the library today. this library we are going to is kinda small compared to the others and it gets completely full if you go there after 10 in the morning. then at around 17:00, some people start going away so until then you can't pretty much find a vacancy. yesterday, i saw a girl who was studying on the stairs cause even the newspaper reading section was full. it's insane.

aleksandra has a crush on a guy who comes to the library pretty often. at some point she was staring at him and running away giggling like a 13 year old, which was pretty funny :) but i mean can you imagine meeting someone at the library?

x: so how did you guys meet?
y: oh we met at the library. you tell them cupcake!
z: alright so i asked him if he could reserve a place for me and he said "oh i could also reserve a place for you HERE" and showed his heart!
x: aaaaawww!!!
z: i know, right?
y: (proud grin)

i stil don't know when i'll go to turkey for a visit. i have to decide that and then buy the tickets. i can't decide when it would be better for me to go since i have an important test in march and i won't be studying while i'm in turkey. maybe in january? i don't know. i don't like making far out plans. i also don't like groccery shopping, but that's another story.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


place: göksu's dorm
day: tuesday
time: 12:16
things i have eaten so far: none
plans to go to the library: blown
new song to be obsessed about: kate nash - nicest thing
number of people i can see from the window: none
level of frustration due to the fact that i missed the nada surf concert: unmeasurable
weather: shitty
artists i wanna see live at the moment: nada surf!!, bat for lashes, lily allen
my regret about last night: spilling toothbrush on my tshirt while brushing teeth (damn it)
status: waiting for göksu to come back from class with food

just like that poe song: "not even god takes this long to get back! so get back." people are weird. they say things and then disappear. i neither have the energy nor the will to chase. i could actually use something normal for a change. when it comes to other people who say "things" to someone, big things even, then run away with someone else and break the hell out of someone's heart: i don't even know what to say to you. even though i'm not involved in this, i am pretty mad. that someone is a person i love dearly.

it's pretty boring to study all these beginner stuff i learnt like 6 years ago and forgot once again, this time in german. my destiny is depending on that test now.

in other news; i don't have much going on in my life. stay tuned.

Saturday, November 1, 2008


i just came home. i was at a party earlier with göksu and her boyfriend, which was held by a couple. i thought it was a halloween party but then it turned out to be a "wow this couple is getting married in two weeks" party. the girl is 22 and the guy is 24. come to think about it, it feels weird. people getting married. people younger than me getting married. don't get me wrong i'm not considering getting married before, like, i don't know 5 years or something, but it somehow felt weird. i guess some people just find that special thing earlier. and i'm not even a relationship. anyways. we played singstar. it was fun but it would have been more fun if i could hear my own voice. still, it was a nice party. then we got outta there planning on going to other parties but we somehow found ourselves in göksu's boyfriend's flat. we ate pizza while watching an episode of "king of queens", during which göksu passed out. it was quite late so i went out to find a taxi home but i had to wait for quite a while. at some point, i thought i would have to wait there till 5 in the morning without finding a taxi to take the metro home but fortunately i did find a taxi. the driver was a very talkative egyptian guy and i didn't understand most of the things he said but i just nodded along cause i just couldn't bother. at some point he asked if i was at a halloween party and how old i was and i said i was at a party that was thrown for this couple who were about to get married and the girl was younger than me. as i was getting out of the car, he said something like "don't worry you'll get married soon". that being said, i relaxed big time :P i don't wanna get married soon though, i just want a relationship with someone who is there. i wanna have something meaningful, but wanting something doesn't mean you're gonna have it now does it? i talked to the "english guy" today. i told him i dreamt of him last night and he said he dreamt of me. he keeps saying he's gonna come over to visit me but i don't know i mean i do wanna see him but even if he does come over, which he never does, he will go back to fucking england so it won't change anything at the end of the day. pardon my weird emotional mood, it's almost 5 and i've been drinking. bye.